he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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