Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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