I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
