Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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