Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
