So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize