If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
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He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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