Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
