im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
