quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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