There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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