so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
