Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I smell like Dick and happiness
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
