There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dick very happy bro
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
