how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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