does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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