just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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