You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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