idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
