I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
