how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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