Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
