whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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