ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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