yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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