I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
