i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
