it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
