is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
