I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
