Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
