you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
