So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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