I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
