oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
