i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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