You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
