I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
