I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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