i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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