i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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