It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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