that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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