i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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