I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I didn't notice because vodka
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just puked most of my soul out..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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