look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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