She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize