At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
