Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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