That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
