id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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