that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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