We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
