Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize