Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Your penis caused this!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
