she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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