how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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