I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize